Apply for Your Trencher Digital Identification Card

Mandatory registration for all participants in unregulated on-chain speculative activity. Pursuant to Directive 2026/04-MEME.

Notice from the Registrar

Following the successful rollout of His Majesty's Digital Identity Programme, the Crown has identified a population segment requiring specialised tracking: individuals trading sub-one-cent tokens at four in the morning while their partners sleep.

You are receiving this notice because blockchain analysis indicates you are one of these people. Please complete the form below to receive your Trencher Digital Identification Card. The card is mandatory. It is also free. We have stopped caring whether you complete it correctly.

Your card will display a behavioural assessment generated by Crown-approved language models. The assessment may be unflattering. This is intentional. If you wished to be flattered, you should have bought an index fund.

— M. Hargreaves, Deputy Registrar (Acting), Department of Onchain Affairs

1. Full Name (X handle recommended, as it appears on your bags)
2. Wallet Address (Solana)
3. Photograph of Applicant	PHOTO
4. Declaration: I declare that the information above is accurate, that I understand my portfolio will be assessed by an artificial intelligence with no respect for my feelings, and that I waive all rights to dignity in perpetuity.